Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

Why do I have an itch in my labia, white gooey and thick discharge which doesn't have a smell but my vagina does sometimes and both me and my partner do not have STDs, what is it?

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I have a reading level above third grade

What is your secret to glowing skin?

I can count

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

Is there a type of function where every point has exactly one tangent line passing through it? If yes, what is this type of function called?

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

What would it take for you to consider yourself a "Swiftie" like Flavor Flav?

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I have complete contempt for fakery

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I told my 13-year-old daughter that she should never start a fight, but has my permission to end it. She got suspended for ending a fight that some other girl picked with her by hitting her then retreating. How do I handle the school’s response?

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I committed the unpardonable sin. God immediately punished me so that I can no longer think like before and my brain is as if paralyzed and does not work. I've tried everything (confession, repentance, etc.) nothing helps. Any advice?

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

What are some examples of the use of the word “piacere” in Italian? What do they mean and how would you translate them into English?

I don’t cotton to rapists

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

Is Pampano safe to eat?

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

Why don't some people like the 10 Commandments?

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I can read

Why does my private parts itch so much during certain periods?

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I don’t buy bullshit

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I see through liars

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I understand how hurricane paths work

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I actually pay taxes

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms